Welcome To My Blog!!! Thoughts we choose.

(James Garvin Media)

As a wife, homeschooling mom, and Hypnotherapist I saw a subtle but destructive problem that was hurting my family. It was tricky to identify, but the root issue was dealing with Lies vs. Truth.

Lies are any thought or behavior that keep us from what we truly desire or need.

What we truly desire is to be heard, loved, valued, respected, etc... Deep down we all know (or hope) we've come to earth with valuable abilities to contribute.

Frankl says, "...[W]e detect rather than invent our missions in life.... Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life... Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone's task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it."

We've all come to earth to make a difference for good. When we act or feel contrary to this, it affects us. The scripture that says "the truth will make you free" (John 8:32, King James version Bible) is literal here. It's believing truth over the lies that "free" us to progress and live.

Because of this, I have become more interested in learning truth instead of staying "comfortable" in the lies.

Years ago my most important roles as a wife and a mother were also the most frustrating and draining parts of my life. I honestly didn't like being a mother or wife. I saw the demanding or "annoying" things my kids and husband were doing and just wanted them to change. I was justified in my frustration since my husband was caught in destructive behaviors, and I had 3 kids ages 3 and under with the youngest having special needs. Others have far worse struggles but I felt I was drowning on a daily basis.

I was introduced to a humbling thought at this time that was hard to swallow. The thought was, 'The problem isn't them. I'm the one feeling frustrated. I shouldn't worry about "helping" my husband or my kids. Just focus on helping myself (not in a selfish way).' In my mind they were the problems so this didn't seem to help, however, I was desperate so I listened.

Stephen R. Covey put this concept well when he said, "Anytime we think the problem is "out there," that thought is the problem...That usually puts a person on a self-deceiving, self- justifying path, often involving rationalization (rational lies) to self and to others." (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, p. 89, 91)

This was a hard pill to swallow. I knew my intentions were good so how could I be the one causing problems? I wouldn't acknowledge my own faults and as a result, I was stuck in the "victim" mentality.

I would serve and work to help those around me day and night, but then would be so burnt out that all I wanted to do was, check out. Whether that was sitting and watching a movie, social media, projects, etc... Let me be clear here. These things are not the problems. The problem was, the priorities I was putting on things versus the people around me. I wanted to escape from my life into a numbed-out preoccupation.

To make a long story short, after years of learning and messing up, I now find the greatest rejuvenation with being with my kids AND my relationship with my husband. How did I get here? Truths. Truths about myself and the reality that I was creating.

Because of the hopelessness I've felt as a mom that I've changed to a genuine love for parenting, I want to give parents tools for their personal journeys, so they can experience the hidden gifts available through their sweet kiddos.

That brings me to this blog. This blog is based on truths that set us free. Truths put us back in control of our lives. Sometimes they're hard to hear, but the question I ask myself and my clients is, "How's that [behavior or emotion] working for you? Are you liking the results of that behavior/ emotion/ thought?"

Now's a great time to proactively create the life you desire. It starts in the mind: with our thoughts. Proactively creating the life I desired was a new concept for me. It is a skill and takes practice.

There are many ways to do this. I found the most effective ways for me were through sub-conscious and conscious work. These combined were extremely helpful. My next post I'll explain the subconscious and conscious work.