Hidden Gifts

Gifts are really fun! We feel special and loved when someone gives us a gift. It would be ridiculous if someone gave us a gift and we didn't even open it. The gift doesn't serve its purpose if we just hold the unopened package. Sometimes that happens with these hidden gifts I'm talking about.

The Story:

My third child was surprisingly born deaf. This launched us into a world of appointments, early intervention, cochlear implant evaluations, surgeries, professional opinions all over the spectrum, and moving away from family. Aside from all that, my son had a strong personality with endless energy. I didn't feel prepared at all! I was consistently frustrated with how to help him. It felt like survival from day to day.

We didn't have the services he needed where we lived so we moved and he started a preschool for kids with cochlear implants. The teacher was phenomenal!!! She could get him to do anything! He was motivated and obedient. I observed this teacher so I could learn what she did. She was flexible but strict, patient, and loving. I wanted the results she regularly got.

There was also a student teacher who was nice with the kids, but would become easily frustrated. I felt uncomfortable since she reminded me of myself with my own kids. I didn't want to be like that. One night as I was praying, I asked for His help to become like the lead teacher who was so loving, patient, calm, and kind. I had an immediate thought of, "That's why you have Samuel." I was completely humbled that the son who was giving me so many "challenges", could potentially be the catalyst to these gifts I desperately needed and wanted. I wouldn't see it before, but now I saw him (my son) in a new light. He was my gift.

This opened my eyes to the "challenges" in my life. What gifts did they have the potential to give me?

I realized in order to see the gifts hidden within these challenges, I needed to have humility. My pride, in all its forms, have always blocked these gifts. Humility (becoming teachable) has been my ticket to accessing these gifts.

These gifts are never bought with money, but are paid (sometimes with a heavy price) through experiences and principles that are lived. These gifts and principles (truths) are interchangeable. They are the key to success in all the meaningful things in life. Stephen R. Covey explained this so well in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. He said,

"Breaking deeply embedded habitual tendencies such as procrastination, impatience, criticalness, or selfishness that violate basic principles of human effectiveness involves more than a little willpower and a few minor changes in our lives....Principals always have natural consequences attached to them. There are positive consequences when we live in harmony with the principles. There are negative consequences when we ignore them. But because these principles apply to everyone, whether or not they are aware, this limitation is universal. And the more we know of correct principles, the greater is our personal freedom to act wisely." (Page 47, 123)

Expanding on the idea of principles, Stephen R. Covey said,

"Principles are not values. A gang of thieves can share values, but they're in violation of the fundamental principles we're talking about...Principles are guidelines for human conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value...Simply consider the absurdity of attempting to live an effective life based on their opposites. I doubt that anyone would seriously consider unfairness, deceit, baseness, uselessness, mediocrity, or degeneration to be a solid foundation for lasting happiness and success..." (Page 35)

This was what I was experiencing with my deaf son. I was living with impatience and selfishness and then feeling frustrated as to why things were so hard with my son. The tricky part was, I had the best intentions and was serving my kids all day, so the problems must be with others. I didn't realize I can "do good" and still be in violation of these principles. A great clue if we're living in harmony with these correct principles is in our thoughts and therefore, feelings. With what attitude am I doing the service for my family?

Through humility we are able to open these hidden gifts all around us. Hidden gifts enrich and expand our lives to a better way to live. I encourage you to think of humility or gratitude in the moments throughout the day.